If You’re Single and You Hate It Here’s How To Change It…

Inner Conflicts

You tell yourself everyday it sucks being single and you’d do anything to be with that guy or girl you’ve been eyeing in class. The only problem is that you have another core belief being that you can never be with that person. Kind of hard to be in a loving relationship when you don’t even believe you deserve it right?

How can you change this right now?

Student Thinking

Determine what stemmed these beliefs in the first place. Has something disempowering your parents, your peers, or an ex say to you previously always been in the back of your mind? Are these statements true? More often then not disempowering statements others tell you aren’t even true. And if they are they can always be changed.

Determine your strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities. Think about your character, your features, and how much value you can provide in a relationship. Write down your strengths and what you can work on.

Don’t think this will work? Keep reading and I’ll change your mind.

Your Actions Don’t Match Up to What You Want

If you keep telling everyone else why you hate being single and how no one wants to date you then they’ll start to believe you. Since it looks like you’ve already convinced yourself that you’re a bad catch then other people will thank you for giving them a heads up.

So if you’re sick of your current situation then instead of complaining try doing these basic things:

Do one small thing to improve your mindset. Eliminate your disempowering beliefs (I’m ugly, He/She is too good for me, I’m not good enough, I’m not relationship material, I’m terrible with the opposite sex…) by simply listening to motivational material each day, accepting that you have to continual work on yourself, and by realizing that your current situation never determines where you’ll end up.

Do one thing out of your comfort zone each day. You can do everything above, but it won’t get you anywhere if you don’t actually do anything. To grow out of an unfavorable situation you have to continually change your disempowering beliefs and habits into actions that will get you the results you want. So in order to get the guy or girl of your dreams you’re going to need to start taking massive action.

Comfort Zone

Here are some things you can do to build up to bigger actions:
    1. Smile
    2. Say Hello to strangers
    3. Make small-talk with people in lines, elevators,
    4. Have a conversation with people you would initially deem “out of your league”
    5. Be friendly with someone, talk to them, and ask for their number in a “no-big-deal” manner.

The whole point of this is to get comfortable with yourself and other people. You’re really just reinforcing your value as a person and making sure you’re becoming the person you want to be.

Be the Person You Dream of Being and You’ll Attract the Guy or Girl of Your Dreams

Once you start changing your mindset and start taking action to change yourself you’ll start to become the person you want to be. And when you do that you’re going to realize that you’ll probably need more help keeping people off of you.

Remember, people that start loving themselves become truly happy. And happy people are sexy people.

Happy People are Sexy People

Try some of the stuff above and let us know how well it works for you.

Fraternity Men through the Eyes of Sorority Women

Before entering into college, I am sure that everyone has already had that “idea” of what a typical “fraternity guy” or “girl” is.  I know for sure I did and even my parents did.  With  the help of movies like American Pie: Beta House and Sorority Row and television shows like Greek it is hard not to already have that image of what fraternity men look like or act like .

I would describe a stereotypical fraternity man as a cocky jock-like or athletically built male.  They are obsessed with beers and are  the jerks that act ridiculously dumb and ignorant.  They can also be seen as destructive and are constant partying instead of focusing on their studies.  They can be seen as the ultimate douchebags with no shame in what they say or how they act.

Obviously, none of these characteristics are very positive.  But after entering college and joining a sorority, I realized that this is not completely true.  Unfortunately, there is a reason why these stereotypes exist because there are those men that do actually apply to my exact description and ruin it for the rest of the good guys out there.  I have personally met those those guys that are so into themselves that they believe that they can get any girl that they want and because of this is allows them to act like the jerks they are.  And there are also those guys that are surround their life around with the fraternity and do nothing but party and in the end ruin their education and just end up just dropping out because they could not motivate themselves to do anything but drink.

I am not gonna lie, most fraternity guys are all about partying because this is a good way to meet the girls or get closer with the bros and just have a good time.  But like I said, there are those exceptions.  There are actual men that I could easily classify as gentlemen and could easily be the guy to bring home to your parents.  As hard as it may be to believe some of these guys joined to help network and further their careers.  There are many guys that are dedicated and extremely intelligent and will definitely make something of themselves in the future.  If you were to Google any of the fraternities you could easily find that there are many distinguished men that have joined in these Greek organizations.  On top of that, many fraternities engage in philanthropic services in hopes of bettering their community and school.  I’m not saying that all frat guys are like this but just like life, you can’t believe everything you hear, but at the same time don’t be so gullible either.

All the Single Ladies!

… and on a lighter note:

Happy Sunday, from clevercollegedating!

Gonna put a ring on it?

So you have been dating this girl or guy for a while and you are wondering if they are the One?

If you are seriously considering the next step at this point you have to make sure you are both in love. No, not like this new fling, puppy-love kind of thing; and not like you two have been together so long you think it’s the right thing to do. Don’t be desperate: marriage is something that most people look forward to, but dating is much easier and more exciting than being married.

It does not matter how long you have dated your significant other. Ultimately, you’ll find out that the first two years of marriage will be the toughest ones you’ll face together. You are still getting use to each other and learning how to compromise. Once you overcome this stage, marriage will become easier and more enjoyable but it takes a lot of work.

How do you know if he or she will be a good wife or husband?  Keep an eye on their parents and how they treat each other. The truth is no matter how much one would say “I will never be like my mom (or dad),” will end up like them in one way or another. Though you may be a reflection of your parents, it’s ultimately up to you to determine whoyou are as a person. It’s about mutual respect and trust, the fundamentals of any and all long-lasting relationships. Lastly, it’s not just about sharing a bed or a dog, with marriage comes a lot of responsibility: chores and bills. Make sure both of you have some money saved up just in case of an emergency or just life.

Take some time every day to get to know your loved one more and more.

Your love for one another should last as long as your marriage. Forever.

When Meeting a Girl: Do’s & Don’ts

The keyword when meeting a newfound interest of the opposite sex is “casual”. Never go in with predetermined hopes for your relationship or an attitude that you MUST keep up with her. The goal is too not try too hard to make a good impression. The goal is to make her feel comfortable with you and have control of the situation. This may seem hard and redundant but it has held true through the years. Once this is accomplished, many doors will open the mindless possibilities.

Talking to a Girl

The following steps make up a simple guide on how to make a girl feel comfortable with you, essentially be “in it” with her.

  • She is busy and you therefore have to be considerate of her schedule/time. This is extremely important because let’s face it, we’re in college and we’re busy! There is nothing more that makes a girl feel  uncomfortable than being too pushy or demanding of time.This goes far because it tells her that you respect her and aren’t just looking for a “hit it and quit it” scenario.
busy lady
  • She is talking to other guys and playing the field. This assumption is vital because you can’t be too confident that you’re the only one. By knowing that she is talking to other guys, you’ll be better at being more laid back. You don’t want to seem too forward in your attempts or you will seem desperate. Make your moves and let her chill so that she knows your intentions and views you as a viable option. Patience is key and there is no way to go around this.
  • Actually care about her. Let’s be honest here, every girl likes it when a guy ACTUALLY asks her about her life. How that job interview went or how she did on her midterm! This means that you have to remember some of the things she says. Yeah, that’s right.. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO LISTEN. You don’t always have to bombard her with questions, but once in awhile ask her how her day is going to find out what is really on her mind so that way she knows that you care.
care
  • Don’t forget to compliment her! One thing that I have learned is that every girl, no matter how hot she is (too an extent) is a little self-conscious. You can make a girl feel better about herself and more comfortable with you knowing that her attempts at looking pretty are not in vain. Compliment her on how you like her hair, how the dress she is wearing is classy and pretty, or even how she looks so hot in just sweats and a tank. Just make sure you don’t always give out compliments so that way she knows you are being honest. And remember to be real! Don’t just send compliments her way to make her feel good. Be honest! It’ll be so much more meaningful.
  • Her friends are the way to her heart. If she is hanging out with her friends and she invites you, Take the extra step to make sure that you follow through and that you make a GOOD impression on them. The goal is to have them talking about you because who wouldn’t want girls talking about them?

Follow these steps and anything can happen. It’s up to you to act further upon them or leave it as  it is and just be friends. The beauty of this guide is that it leaves it up to you to decide to be a friend, or to just have befriended her.

How to Pick Up the Cute Girl in Class

Guys, we’ve all seen that girl in class that we gave the “double take” to because of how cute she is, but we just never seem to know how to approach her. How do you approach a random person that you know nothing about? Here are a few pointers on how to start a casual conversation and grab her attention.

One approach you can take is go up and sit next to the girl you’ve been eyeballing a few days before a midterm, and start talking about the test. You can ask her what she thinks about the material, and if she’s prepared for the midterm or not. After you have established a certain level of comfort ask her if she wants to study together a couple days before the midterm. Everybody likes having a study-buddy, so chances are she will say yes.

Talking to Cute Girl in Class

Another approach you can take is simply sit next to the girl you’re digging, and start a casual conversation about the class you guys are taking, how horrible the teacher is, etc. Once you’ve established a level of comfort (which is probably the most important step,) you can say, “By the way my name is…” This first step is called “planting the seed.” The key about planting a seed is that you need to continually water it for it to grow into a plant. So continue to say hi to her while walking down the hall, and sit next to her when you get the opportunity. Hopefully you can establish good chemistry with her and it can grow into a beautiful relationship.

Red Flag – The Forbidden Guy

Girls:

Unfortunately, we will all encounter a ‘forbidden guy’ sometime in our life. You may allow yourself to date this type of guy and your interactions with him will leave you confused and alone. Your best bet is to spot this guy and run as fast as you can in the other direction before you mess up your precious time and life.

Okay so I’m sure you’re wondering what defines a “forbidden guy” so let’s go ahead a discuss it:

A forbidden guy is someone who wants anything and everything that is off limits to them. Of course we agree that this is the case for many people but the forbidden guy will lose interest in you as soon as you show any sign of commitment.

Who he goes after: Girls who are already in relationships or girls who have their own agenda. Forbidden guys like the rush of trying to get something they can’t have. When they see someone who isn’t making time for them, this type of guy will find away to make him noticeable and even worse, engraved in your mind. Obviously, not all girls in relationships will be dumb enough to fall for this forbidden guy but there are more girls than you know who just aren’t thinking right.

How you might fall for him: The three C’s (charming, convincing and charismatic) The forbidden guy usually has a questionable reputation but they will go to extreme measures to make you think otherwise. They will use their charm and charisma to woo you into falling head over heels for them. Do not feel like you are the exception. YOU ARE NOT. Be smart and see behind his motives.

What he might tell you: If you’re already in a relationship the first thing and NO BRAINER will be “You’re boyfriend doesn’t treat you right”. He might also say that you can do better, you’re too pretty for your current boyfriend, or ask why you like him. All of these questions clearly do not support your relationship and leave room for something better… HIM. If you’re not in a relationship and just show no interest or have your own agenda he will go to extreme measures to lure you in but you will not clearly see it. The forbidden guy is usually good at making you fall head over heels without you even realizing it.

The lesson: There are some exceptional guys out there in this world.. but let’s be honest, there are the one or two scum bags or should I say “forbidden guys” that you need to be aware of. If you are smart and caution yourself, you’ll have no problem flagging this guy when he approaches.

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